A team of scientists in Tokyo have created the world's most expensive robot, according to our source at The Dog & Gun saloon bar in the High Street.

The scientists, working at the Tokyo Institute of Technology have spent the last five years perfecting the machine, said Steve 'Winky' Isham, local plasterer and son of his parents.

"They reckon it's cost in the region of six and a half billion Yen, or roughly forty million of your British Earth Pounds Sterling."

We spoke to Tetsuo Iwakura , the leader of the project to beg the question,

"So what have you been up to lately, and how's it going?"

He didn't actually speak English, so through a translator we managed to garner these barely interesting facts:-

-It are robot, very clever.

-Speak, also chess play good.

-Electric man use plenty home, walk and sit down.

-Make, eat and serve in kitchen time saved.

After we had fired our translator, we found another, English speaking scientist. He told us,

"We have invented this robot."

And what can it do? we asked,

"It is a robot."

Yes, we know that, we agreed, but asked if the robot has any practical applications, such as helping puppies across the road or walking old ladies.

Could it, for instance be used to do things that an human person may find too dangerous, or indeed that they are too indolent to do for themselves?

"It can walk up stairs.", they replied.

Yes, very interesting. Can it also walk downstairs?

"........................Yes."

Can it though?

".............It.......can fall down stairs..."

Surely that's not much use?

"It..looks cool!?", they retorted.

So, are we to assume that the Institute has spent £40,000,000 on a robot that can walk up stairs, fall down them, talk, serve drinks and nibbles, then play a frankly pointless board game? After all, we're sure that most people have at least one notoriously flaky relative who can fulfill a similar role at a fraction of the cost.

Isn't it just a waste of money?

"But it is a robot.", they reiterated.

"It looks cool."

Quite.