A man in Oxford, which by happy coincidence is situated in Oxfordshire has told the 'News reporting community' that he has plans to sue God for the infringement of his intellectual property rights.

Walter Cymbeline, an amateur inventor of things, aged 57, told the news folk that the almighty has been stealing his designs and then fraudulently passing them off as his own.

Was Cymbeline able to provide any examples with which to prove his case?

"I should say so!  I've got drawers full of 'em! Look at this one for starters."

Cymbeline then produced an highly detailed blueprint.  After an awkward silence, our guest reporter Kate L. Prodde of 'The Daily Week' piped up,

"Erm.......it's a tree."

"I know it is!" retorted Cymbeline,

"Because I invented it!!"

Ms. Prodde went on to point out that the date on the blueprint said ©W.Cymbeline 1973.  Surely trees have existed for millions of years?

"Yes, you see? That's the same specious argument that the Patent Office tried to palm me off with!" ranted Cymbeline.

"The trouble is that God is omnipotent and omnipresent and all that metaphysical stuff.

What I reckon he did was look over my shoulder while I was designing my tree, copied it, and then went back in time and then passed it off as his own work!

When faced with those infinite powers, a mere mortal such as myself is at an automatic disadvantage. It's just not fair.  I shall be pressing the Government to introduce some sort of legislation to protect inventors from the frankly unfair business practices of non corporeal deities."

Is it not true though, that......

"Crabs!"

?

"That's another of mine he pinched!  I go and invent crabs, and then what does he go and do? The next thing you know, he goes and makes them millions of years earlier using my designs! It's a bloody cheek, I can tell you.  It's sheer plagiarism of the lowest order.  I'm absolutely fuming!"

Mr. Cymbeline then proceeded to roll his eyeballs in a quite alarming manner, while frothing slightly at the mouth and demanding backdated royalty payments for the air we were breathing.

We would like to thank Mr. Cymbeline for his candid interview and wish him the best of luck in his new secure accommodation.