Thursday, September 25, 2008

Barry Skankley, an human man of 22 years, has escaped with a mere ticking-off after police admitted that he was going so fast on the M25, that their radar equipment couldn't take a reading. “At a conservative estimate, I would say he was probably travelling at somewhere just beyond the speed of light.” said Constable Malcolm Rozzer. “He just came out of nowhere and then, VOOM! he was gone.  Unfortunately our equipment can currently only clock speeds of up to 150mph, so we had no chance.”  Skankley was only traced when he jumped a red light in his home town of Chipping Norton seconds later. At a court hearing, Skankley said in mitigation “I was bursting for a slash, and I didn't realise I was going that fast, but looking back, the jump into hyperspace did set the alarm bells ringing. Before I knew it, I was home.” This speed freak certainly won't be making a repeat performance though, as he said the experience of violating the laws of time and space have “made me feel a bit weird.” Skankley avoided prosecution for speeding, but was ordered to undergo a Chinese burn for jumping the red light.

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