For years we have all accepted that cardboard boxes are an essential feature of modern life.

Mainly used for storing or transporting various items, they have become intertwined into virtually some of our everyday activities.

Until now, it was widely believed that cardboard boxes were merely a commercial commodity constructed from processed wood pulp.  However, documents recently made public under the Freedom of Information Act reveal an altogether more sinister story.

The top secret government papers reveal that the state-controlled box industry is based on the wholesale slaughter of an innocent, and to most, unknown species of animal.

It is a fact that will be shocking to some, that cardboard boxes are in fact made from cured animal hides.

The strange cuboid creatures were first described by the eminent explorer Hermann Mermann in 1863, during his never remembered expedition to the Yearyte Islands, in the sea.

Bringing home several specimens, it was immediately apparent  to Mermann that he could make himself a fortune by tapping into this abundant natural resource.  Mermann proceeded to set up a vast captive breeding programme in Britain.  Once he had amply swelled the number of his stock, he set about the slaughter of the peaceful creatures, using their left-over innards to manufacture cheap sausages.  He then dried and cured their hides to produce handy containers.

But why was this kept such a secret?

We asked Timberley Farmer, curator of the Clarkson Collection of Archives That No-one Else Has Any Interest In Whatsoever.

"I think that the government of the day, for whatever reason, just thought that the general public at the time, being a bit thick, simply weren't ready to know where their sausages and boxes came from."

She added,  "Even now, some people don't readily like to admit that the boxes that they quite happily used until a few weeks ago are in fact the hollow dried corpses of blameless creatures cruelly exploited by a cynical civilisation .  Some people are switching to alternatives such as plastic, but I can see a looming storage crisis in the near future, as people's ethics collide with expediency solutions for stopping stuff laying about."

The question that worried us, meantime was, "Are sausages still made from cardboard guts?"

Tom Aplomb, of  'The Government' was unavailable for comment, but his Aunt Edith said,

"Only budget sausages, not the good ones."

One man though, is determined to turn the tide on this tale of exploitation.

Tenniel Lambast quit the big time in the city to devote his time and energy to the preservation of these gentle creatures on his 400 acre box sanctuary somewhere in the Outer Hebrides.

The exact location is a closely guarded secret, but Tenniel invited us to take a look around.

"They're such gentle creatures." He explained.

"I can't see why anyone would ever want to hurt them."

They certainly are impressive beasts.  We observed a huge herd grazing, and were forced to ask an obvious question.  "How do they get about?"

After all, they are cubes with no legs or obvious appendages.

"They just roll over." Laughed Tenniel.

"It's quite good, as they can go in any direction. Forwards, backwards, sideways.  They're really very adaptable!" Gushed Mr. Lambast.

It has to be said that the herds of rolling boxes make an attractive and postcard worthy sight, with their pleasant green colouring which is cruelly leached from their cold, dead skin during the curing process, leaving them a pale buff imitation of their former selves.  Yet will this shocking revelation force a re-think of the world's storage solutions?  Will we see an end to cardboard boxes and cheap sausages?

The final word goes to Roger Flebbing, an innocent passer-by and serial shop-user,

"I doubt it!" He claimed.