News has just come in to the Fortean Tim office that NASA scientists examining data from the Phoenix Mars lander have made some startling new discovery, or something.

I spoke personally to NASA scientist Chuck Stayke, to find out about what they found out about what it's all about.

Chuck, what's it all about?

"What?..........Oh, the lander?!"

Mmm.

"You see Tim, it's like

 this. When we were analysing some images taken by the lander while it was collecting soil samples, we discovered incontrovertible evidence that there is no intelligent life on Mars."

So you claim that you have absolute proof that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, there is no life on Mars -That's official?

"Whoa! Hold your horses there, Tim! I didn't say there wasn't any life! Just no intelligent life."

?

"There may well be life on Mars, we don't know that yet. But if there is, it's definitely not intelligent."

But how can you be so sure?

"Take a look at the picture, Tim."

Oh, ah............................I see. Well thankyou. There we have it, conclusive proof that there is no intelligent life on Mars, and precious little on Earth.

This has been me, Fortean Tim, doing words.